Created by Alaina Castillo on Sound. Leave a comment on the song at https://www.sound.xyz/alainacastillo

Alaina Castillo

hi, my names alaina castillo. im 22 years old from houston, currently living in los angeles. for me, music started in my bedroom in texas when i was by myself either after school, work, or sneaking away when life got stressful. i was in choir throughout my school years, but was always told to focus on my studies and things that would put me on a secure path in life. when i was about to finish highschool, i realized that all i wanted to do was break the cycle and make something for myself. i wanted to make those around me proud so that they could see the dream i had in mind was achievable. to them, not being able to see the end result was an immediate red flag for me to stop, but to me it meant that i could create whatever outcome i wanted. 

i started making covers on youtube, trying different things, & meeting the amazing people who supported me from the start. i still talk to a lot of them to this day & dont know where i would be now if it werent for them supporting me and hyping up each upcoming video. starting with a small community was the part that i remember enjoying most. they saw my first video blow up, my channel start to grow, & eventually my move out to los angeles where i started doing small tours and festival performances. it was something that i had always dreamed of while making videos with just a camera and an instrumental track on my computer. 

when i started releasing music as an artist, there were moments where i thought i had found myself, but always had to ask if it was really me because i had no clue who i was or what i wanted to say. i would find it in lyrics of songs or melodies that made me feel something, but i always felt a disconnect. i didnt realize until recently that the person i was looking for inside myself was hurt, broken & hiding. expressing myself was never something that came easy and i forced myself to forget my own problems to please the versions of myself that other people had. before the start of 2022, i went back to houston with this new mindset, recorded music in my spare room, & went back to the reason i wanted to start making music. the reason for wanting to desperately create a world that i could escape to. it came from sadness & trauma, regret & emotional abuse, but also from optimism. a desire to do more, achieve more & show people that i could make it because there was nothing that made me feel more like myself than making music. 

my new song, sad girls always finish first, was the first song i wrote when i got back to la in january. i was sitting in the studio and we had a beat on repeat and the words, troubled girl, came to mind. i had always told myself i could be the happy artist that writes about overcoming problems, but when i started to write sad girls always finish first, i realized i didnt wanna lie. i didnt wanna act happy, i just wanted to feel the emotions however i could so that i could stay sad and eventually come to terms with whatever demons i had. to everyone who listens to this song, whether happy or sad, i want you to know that being sad doesnt mean youre gonna stay that way, or miss out on things, or lose. it means youre gonna experience the feelings that come with the sadness. the anger, the mania, & the confusion & itll push you to grow into someone who finally has a voice of their own. i wanted to create a sad world with a dark side of confidence because we all need to escape to that place once in a while. or everyday, u decide. i hope you enjoy it & i hope youre excited for the art to come.