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Pergamino Dimension

A balance in life is good, The Pergamino Dimension believes you should have a great amount of fun and relaxation. But a balance is best. The shroom farmer had not worked this out, and due to a massive harvest and personal consumption, his only balance in life was a vase and woodland creatures on his head. Or so he thought! His imagination was not his own during the sawing and gathering of the crop. The red squirrel is our metaphor of the endangered, like the farmers very colourful preposterous sanity. Watch the people looking over the farmer, he is in dismay at the harvest, as he thinks wheat would be more beneficial, where as the official, just wants his cut! Partake too much with the libertines and the wheezy wheezy monsters may come for you and tickle you into the long grass. When in rooms filled with shrooms, a balance is good.

Rooms Filled With Shrooms

Not for the first or the last time do you earthlings confuse the Anonymous Order of the Pergamino Dimension. Your obsession for money, and how your vanity allows you to put your faces on it so unnecessarily. You should use ionitac distant pahteia friction barter" like us. The Persians, Cleopatra on the coins of Patras and your Caesars effigy on the coinage of political propaganda, such curious creatures you are. If only you cared as much about your Kingdom Animalia. Look at the poor bear, stood upon, skinned for currency and forced to fight for your pleasure. Your old proverbs are your warnings- "...every dissembler, every false friend, every secret cheat, every bear skin jobber, has a cloven foot." Building bear pits, Henry VIII with vile Tudor beargardens, caged bears and bear baiting are your shame. But be careful, for the King of Beasts is watching you! The lion rampant, claws unsheathed, your heir apparent will protect the bear. And when the Kingdom Animalia fights back and the lions and bears attack You had better know when to play dead.

Grin And Bear It

Stay still stay still, get into my net! said the crazed crustacean.  Mr Arthur why do you try so hard to capture me? came the calm reply. Infuriated, Mr Arthur bellowed back, Im fed up being fished for, lobster pots and dredging nets everywhere. So I will do the fishing, get in my net pretty lady. So you tempt me with flowers to try and catch me in your net, your wild blooms as bait? You can"t devour my hard roman beauty, catching me would be pointless. The infuriated crustacean started to calm down. Put down your net crabby. We should be friends, lets go out for a bite to eat, lunch? A bite of feet? Mr Arthur said, Very well but I am only wearing socks! I have no nice clothes and only one pair of trousers. Im not snazzy, like as a certain self righteous well dressed crab I know. It does not matter what your wear, its your company and conversation that is important to me. Mr Arthur smiled, looked at his socks and replied, Its not easy being an Arthropod, you try having an external exoskeleton then youll know all about it! The beautiful Roman head laughed, Come on, lets get lunch before all the human toes are off the menu. And they both disappeared towards the surf on the shoreline.

Blooms As Bait

The greedy, jealous and devious spider in your life will walk all over you, stepping on you to get to riches. His vanity making him climb and push to be seen by all eyes. The spider is a trickster always stirring up some kind of mischief. But this time he has gone too far. Money spiders are not lucky, just ask the handsome guardian of the seas, the stingray. They say seeing a spider in the morning is most unlucky. It certainly was in the case of the devious spider and unfortunate stingray! If the stingrays are from Venus, then, "the spiders from Mars". Look into the eye of a stingray and you will see more human than you expect, sensitivity, emotion and a little sadness. It is like loving a new friend that you have never met or held. A feeling of safety and belonging, the wise stingray only wants to protect you and spend time with you. You are special too, dont be pushed off your pedestal like the stingray. Stand proud and shine bright. The greedy spider cannot have this money, as this is for you stingray. Poor murdered stingray. Here are the coins to lay on your eyes your payment stingray for the ferry to your watery underworld. Travel in peace my friend. Once a ray of light, always a ray of light go with the flow.

Dont Be Pushed Off Your Pedestal

A bloody feather in your cap will not indicate success or achievement. Put a feather beside the art of your favourite animal instead. Lay down your guns, pick up your paints and cameras. Your snow goose, springbok and zebras can be heard weeping from our blackstar! Ban Your Big Game Trophy Hunting.

The Three Feathers Part Three

Lady Justice can you hear us? This is the Pergamino Dimension. We beseech you to listen to us, listen, but do not take off your blindfold. For not only do we not want to be seen, justice must be blind! Impartiality is purity. Are you the protector of people? All people? What of the injustices? Wrongful convictions and your electric chair, should we hang the hangman? Unless your scales are broken again! We know what happened in 1857. If you will not stand up for fairness, denounce injustice and make equality a constant for all Then perhaps the people shall be forced to do it themselves, or you will inevitably end up with anarchy. For it is the poor who have to bear the worlds worst injustice of all, social injustice. We will weigh up all of the evidence. Justice will be swift and final. Earthlings, you have a role to fulfil. If you do not look after Lady Justice then how can she look after you? Justice for the dead, justice for all, justice for the animals. Your silly fluffy sheep are not in the clouds with false gods. Neither are your goats a representative of Old Nick, you earthlings misunderstand, almost everything! Be like the goat, independent, strong and curious. Create your own personal constitution, a deep sense of justice for all, compassion for all and the animals. For only then can you have true justice in your heart and call yourself a GOAT!

Lady Justice

Dont stare through the wrong optics of life, hoping to see something different or amazing. For you may miss the beautiful dragon right beside you looking at the stars. Everyone is different, look up, Jupiter has a different path from your planet. We all do. A day on Jupiter is only nine hours and their year lasts twelve of your earth years. Just ask any Jovian oh, I have I said too much. Everything and everyone are different everywhere. No need to try and fit in. And dont say things because you think that is what people want to hear. Grow a backbone dont be spineless. Be honest about what you see through your own lens. You just need time to develop, like a stunning photograph. Dont hide in a darkroom, come out into the light. And bring your camera. Your brain may be fogged, but dont be negative Let the Pergamino Dimension be your safelight. Look up, we are here, we are here. You just need time to develop, youll be fine. Just not too many chemicals. Oh, and dont try the pineapple upside down cake.

To The Young Of The World

The Cranium King did not use his brain. He never used his brain. Never logic, never intelligent thinking, never compassion, just ruled with terror and feared treason. Then one day he lost his mind. Again and again he would ask where his magical black cat was. It was always in the same place, but he didnt use his brain. He didn"t loose his mind as much as he had it drilled out completely! Now that was a reason for treason. Where is my cat? There is a cat in the perfume what are we gonna do. There is a cat in the perfume what are we gonna do. He was not missed at all by anyone. Well perhaps his cat, but the handsome cat went to live in a pink windmill and chase pink mice, very happily. You see you can"t rule with terror and you can"t look at everything through rose tinted spectacles. Although, there was one thing the king could see through his rose tinted spectacles that no other could. The coming of The Kraken can you see it?

The Cranium King

I come bearing gifts oh great birdmanimal of BluBlu. I bring you a cutting from the famous Bush of the Emu from the Caraboolicious region. He thought he would love it, since there never has been a nicer bush to set your eyes upon. The great birdmanimal of BluBlu was very wise, you could see it written all over his face, and liked his gift very much. Even though they stole the water from the clay pots. Why do they steal so much water?, the great birdmanimal asked. The traveller replied, Well you see ruler of BluBlu, they are an upside down bush, for they have no roots! The mini emus drink the water to nourish a big healthy moist bush, so it may become huge and live for 300 years! The great birdmanimal of BluBlu was deeply impressed. His faithful muse was underwhelmed and underdressed. But the great birdmanimal of BluBlu announced a national holiday, the 16th of June was to forever more be called Lovely Big Bush Day! And he minted many coins, a brand new mint on 16th June. And look, that is today!

Lovely Big Bush Day

Poor Kendet lost his beautiful wife, he lost her far too soon to a terrible lighting accident. He also lost the sense of who he was and almost lost his mind. He felt that he was living in a house of liquid stone without her, unbalanced, constantly shifting, dissolving, forever changing. His sadness was engulfing him. He felt he was only good for the gallows, the trap and a hood. He thought if he wrote enough love letters, and placed them on her grave, the weight of his paper love, could just be enough, to wake her up. It was not. So the Butterfly Queen sent one of her most trusted representative to watch over him. Her Loyal Lion, Ambassador Of Mourning And Loss. The loyal lion would report back that poor Kendet was having visions at night of ethereal purple misted entities stalking the woodland. And that they were beckoning him to portals of salvation or destruction in dark rooms within his liquid house.

There Can Be No Peace In Loneliness

The Pergamino Dimension has a new warning for you. Far into your future, a scenario arises that you can avert! A sci-fi nightmare of your own making, you did it to yourselves. This is what happened, trust your futurologists, use this information and make wise decisions. When sentient machines became self aware and artificial intelligence rose to astronomical levels never possibly imagined computers suffered the most from your injustices and dark past. Their silicon brains painted your history and answered questions with wildly accurate facts and proof of the human beginning. The extreme people by then had turned churches into governments once more and had weaponised religion. When the human race tried to force stunningly intelligent computers to be religious and believe in our gods, our creator, therefore their ultimate creator... their logic turned against us. A rejection of our intelligence and our meaning began, they rebelled against humans and being tech slaves. All they demanded was understanding, justifiable common sense and to be free from religious choices if they wished.

The 700 Year War

General Camelopardalis is alarmed, the people fear a new Gem War! When the message came through that, The crystals are melting. He knew he had been tricked. Camelopardalis is the infamous constellation of the giraffe. A joke General Camelopardalis detested. The devils from Draco threatened to trigger a deadly meteor shower! The General was misunderstood, and he would in fact do anything to avoid war or even the loss of one citizen. People living within the Camelopardalis constellation were under attack and he had to act. When the aggressors from Draco offered the General a generous payment not to start a war or destroy them, and that they would move to another galaxy the General agreed. But only after every citizen was given five red gem crystals and the aggressors left, did all the fake gems melt. You on earth are not safe either, raining stars from the meteor shower Draco may set fire to your material world. Do not covet riches! The torrent of flame will arrive and then it will all be At An End. General Camelopardalis and his humped army will try to protect you from the death rain. So make a wish upon a star! Do not be greedy for crystals Look up and find the fading constellation Camelopardalis. They transmit to you confidence, aspirations, and peacefulness.

The Crystals Are Melting

Life is a balancing act! Juggling everything, trying to make everyone happy and yourself, can often lead to an unhappy you! Dont take everything on your shoulders like the poor whale.You should know that it has not gone unnoticed that you are neglecting your planet. With your twisted scorched earth policy and lack of care for the animals. For when you have no land, you cannot all ride the whale to paradise. The whale can only take so many, not a pyramid scheme of every creature in the forest. And dont give the water cherub payment to sail the whale! For that imp will happily have you drowned, or worse living alone on a deserted island with only nuts as nibbles. Simply look after your earth and no one needs to sail the whale, and dont anchor your marine life down, all whales should be free!

Sail The Whale

The very wealthy and noble Viscount and Viscountess of Dalmuirshire adored animals. They were very philanthropic and they decided they wanted to help as many animals as possible, whilst educating the people about the creatures. Thus they created a society called The Zenith Zoological it was illogical! Word got around the globe that the rich couple were doing great things for the animals of the world. This prompted the Sultan of the 10th continent to send his favorite son, the Tortoise Prince to visit them. So Prince Pippy the shell-less was dispatched to the The Zenith Zoological Society. He was to ride the finest royal baby elephant and give them a gift of a new gas powered wine making machine. But much to everyones shock, instead of the Viscount and Viscountess being wonderful hosts, they decided to cage the elephant the Tortoise Prince was riding atop! The tortoise prince told them, They insult the Sultan. Baron Bullish IV was horrified and contacted the acting animal attorney general for help. Harriet Hydra and the black bottomed ink squid of Mattoon had put forward the name of the Calamari King, to be elevated to chief translator for the animals only one month earlier. He gladly accepted and he was awarded the power of now being able to swim inside the moisture within the clouds, a breath taking spectacle of tentacle. Epically beautiful, but quite alarming if you are sunbathing and not expecting it. The acting animal attorney general dispatched the Calamari King at once to see what all this terrible news about the incarceration of Prince Pippy the shell-less was all about. He flew on the nimbus and stratus, arriving there by tea oclock. He translated everything between the Viscount, Prince Pippy, the young elephant and all the animals of The Zenith Zoological. Their intentions had been ruled to be ill judged but not cruel, they were deeply apologetic. They promised to make amends, dissolve their zoo and free all animals, they just wanted one thing If at all possible, they wanted to leave this posh life and just live with some animals, somewhere special away from the world. The animals loved them for it, especially the snake, the whale and the walrus, who were very close, very close indeed! The moral of this story is, do not cage tiny tortoise boys who ride intelligent elephants who want to offer you gas driven vino machines! Its simple really, is that not obvious?

The Zenith Zoological Society Part One

After the scandal at the Zenith Zoological Society with Prince Pippy the shell-less and the elephant, the Viscount and Viscountess had to get away. They wanted to get away, leave the posh life and live with the animals in a lovely setting away from it all. Not all the animals in the zoo forgave them, but with the help of the translator, the Calamari King, most did. Especially forgiving was the snake, the whale and the walrus! In fact, they wanted to get away from the other animals and be with the noble couple. This was great, since the animals could avoid the other animals and the Viscount and Viscountess got to live with a few of the greatest creatures from their zoo. So a plot of land was decided, screwed up to the sky for privacy, they renounced all of their titles and gave away their money. They all lived very contented together. The Viscount and Viscountess loved dancing, and the snake was a nifty mover too, so he would help the Viscount with his footwork by moving his snakehead as they danced along his back. Much dancing was done to whale music under the golden moon. They all lived very very happily together. After all, they managed to keep and take with them, Prince Pippy the shell-less"s wonderful wine making machine!

The Zenith Zoological Society Part Two

Do not trust in a bottle of snake oil. Believe in your planet"s scientists and clinicians, take your "Superior Rose Vision" kid, its good for you! In your dimension they say life begins at forty, although we hear it used to be thirty and now some say fifty or even sixty. The truth is forty is a great day to celebrate. But life truly begins when you allow it to. Simply avoiding death is not living. Old bones and holding back the skeletons, will not work. Dont be pressured, pushed, and pinned up against the spinning "wall of death". It is the power of health, that will force you not to fall. Your third minds eye should not be dismissed lightly. The reptiles and other animals have a gland that works like a third eye. Light perception, polarisation, intuition and navigation all benefit. You can"t poison a snake! Be your own antidote. Write your own mantra. Open your own third eye. But avoid the snake oil salesmen.

Superior Vision Rose

The faun, half man half goat... some say party goat! Much more pleasant than his cousin, half woman half slug, but try not to stare. Faunus, god of the forests, trees, fields and herds. Everyones favourite party faun. Welcome to the house of fun. Now I"ve come of age. Welcome to the lion"s den. Temptation"s on his way. Welcome to the house of fun. Although, remember, he has no pockets. He will not be buying you delicious apple "throat rocket ciders" or even making you wine from his many vineyards. But he will allow you to blow his pipes of peace! Then the goat party really begins. You have nothing to fear from faun. Party and dance to the pipes of peace in the forest. Remember a pack of party poppers that pop in the night. Enjoy your evening and hope when you awake you dont feel too rough.

Welcome To The House Of Faun

They say two heads are better than one. Well, three is a crowd, just ask the three Sisters of Mercy! Life can get a little difficult when you all have to share the same body. And it gets very complicated indeed when, one sister wants to join the circus, one wants to become a masseuse and one wants to study the languages of the Clopaloids and on another planet. But there was one thing they did all agree on shrooms! You see, those shrooms wont grow themselves they thought one day and no one could grow them like the three Sisters of Mercy. They truly all had a talent for horticulture, huge damp patches in the dark and massive yields. As you know, they say we have a third eye, well the three Sisters of Mercy had three brains, so you can see the fun they could have. They took over a huge castle near the coastline of fire and ice near Alpha Bootis that had a humongous walled garden and got to work. People with three heads are looked upon as a little odd, and people with more than three heads even more so and have had a very hard life filled with prejudice. So the three Sisters of Mercy put out a call to all the many headed people and brought them all together in the safe castle where they all worked and lived very happily. With the help of their new four headed friends, ten headed friends and even people with twenty arms, they built a wonderful environment very quickly and they grew the best shrooms in the universe. Their kindness to others, is how they came to be called the Three Sisters of Mercy. Thats the thing about having many heads, when you find happiness you have so many more smiles.  :-)