Half Life (Binaural Atmos Mix)

Half Life is about struggling with depression. Its about looking at my life and being afraid that I wasnt living up to my full potential. About feeling like I had worked so hard and been through so much, only to feel like I still wasnt living up to the expectations I had for myself. About the kind of hopelessness that settled around me when I felt like I was failing at living my purpose.

The depression was trigged after getting traumatized by web2 pressures - how empty and inauthentic I felt trying to go viral on TikTok; how I had hired a TikTok coach and posted every day for a month, but none of my videos took off; how I felt cringy and embarrassed of some of the content and started making them private; how I had to spend my time making covers for YouTube instead of making songs that meant something to me; how social media made me feel like shit, but I felt I had nowhere else to turn when everyone in the industry was saying I didnt have a choice; how I felt like my experimental and boundary-pushing music wasnt bite-sized enough and I was being asked to water myself down. 

And then one day, scrolling through Instagram, I saw a story from Matthew Chaim. He posted an article Time did on Songcamps songwriting camps and I felt a spark. I had followed him a while back because he was one of the few artists I knew of at the time that was doing experimental pop music and getting Spotify editorial support, and I was mad inspired. As someone who made up her own genre-blend called deep pop, his experimental pop music was a north star. I didnt know him at all then, but I got a bit of courage, and DMd him to see how I might be able to get involved. He responded, and told me Songcamp meets every Monday, and to come to a call. I remember running to tell my mom after getting the DM I was so excited. I joined the call the very next Monday, and fast forward to now, the Songcamp community is filled with people I call dear friends. 

In contrast to feeling so abandoned and isolated in web2, everyone on the Songcamp call was immediately warm and welcoming. I felt like they saw me and accepted me for who I was. They were kind. They loved pushing boundaries and exploring new tech. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had found my tribe. From there I was a part of Songcamps CHAOS project, met friends that eventually would form cornerclub together, and was introduced to the promise of web3. That one DM literally changed my life. Finding web3 is what gave me my hope back and helped pull me out of that depressive episode. 

Its funny the way things work out. The song about web2 trauma and feeling so far away from my dreams turned into my genesis drop on Sound - a dream of mine since finding web3. Not only that, but its the very first Atmos drop on Sound (Tip: This is a binaural Atmos mix, so def listen with headphones :) Ive dreamed of exploring how pop music could move in a three-dimensional space since college. Back then the tech was called spatialization, and could only be done with hard code. Now, Dolby has made the tech widely accessible by launching its Atmos software, and I was finally able to mix one of my songs using it. I think the wide-eyed college student version of me who dreamed of somehow producing music with sounds that swirled around her head would be so proud. So thank you Sound for this opportunity. And thank you web3 for giving me hope when I felt pretty hopeless. 

As a nod to all the communities that so warmly embraced me on my web3 journey so far, Ive put everyone that has purchased any of my previous NFTs on the pre-sale allowlist, which includes collectors of There Used To Be Four, CHAOS packs, CHAOS songs, and cornerclubs Dance Music For Introverts Vol. 1. 

Credits:
Produced by Rosalie
Written by Rosalie, Thomas Pino, and Haley Ganis
Mixed by Ryan Lipman and Brett Nolan 

Lyrics:

Thought Id have things figured out
Stead Im here just treading water
Growing up but feeling down
Every step the road gets longer

Since last December Ive been
So damn depressive
Diggin up what Im suppressing
Thinking that Im only living a 

Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)

Turns out no one gives a shit
Unless Ive already made it 
Dont want my whole life ending with
Not meeting my expectations

Since last December Ive been
So damn depressive
Diggin up what Im suppressing
Thinking that Im only living a 

Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)

Feeling like Im living in the same year
(same year same year)
Like Im living in the same year
(same year)
Living in the same year same year

Feeling like Im living in the same year
(same year same year)
Like Im living in the same year
(same year)
Living in the same year same year

Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
Half life half life 
(Thinking that Im only living, living)
