Shortcuts to Enlightenment

I"ve spent the last few weeks pretending to be Anthony Bourdain, and am afraid that all of the street food has given me swine malaria. The symptoms are what you would imagine: I can now pee from my butt, and my teeth feel furry.

This experience has made me realize that the Travel Channel is sitting on a pot of gold. They have so much leftover footage from "Anthony Bourdain, No Reservations" that they could create a whole second show out of it. It could be called "Anthony Bourdain Shits His Brains Out", and be filmed in conjunction with Discovery Health.