Emancipation

What can I say the change has started but all I wish was to be a better person, why do I need to feel so empty about everything its just makes everything so hard for myself during this whole path, has I said before life was never ment to be easy but never thought that trying to be a better person would be so hard. I have been making alot of changes in my daily routine, been studying, creating art, eat healthy and even discovering new art styles so I can mix into my skills but everything feels not enough I feel that Im not enough and worth of everything that I have been building and receiving.  
Being an artist isnt easy social media pressure will be always a thing even more when you lost all your engagement, the whole creative process shows exactly how u feel making us artist naked its like if we live on a house made my glass, everyone can see through ourselves and thats so disturbing because I cant hide the bad emotions and thoughts I have.  
I/we been trying to became a better artist/s but it will take time and I just hope that everyone will wait for me or atleast keep trusting in my art.  
I just ask you to please be a stronger artist/person than myself

Love Loop

Wish I was better

I have been trying to be better but let me tell you that isn"t an easy task, whenever I think I"m making it, everything just goes away, I have no social media support, and its been just me and my art, it"s been the only pillar during all this storm, and I have a feeling that things will only get worst over time but I will be strong and make it through. Nothing will stop me not even my own mind. This is why mental health is essential because even when you feel down you make it possible to fight back, I will not say that my mental health is the best which it isn"t but since I started this project it got better. I can"t complain about anything because I"m not that good or worth anything but we making the possibles to make it real, nothing of this would be possible without you guys, my whole career and art success it"s all about you reading this, I"m just glad that you took some minutes to appreciate and read this, for me that"s already enough. Making art makes me alive, receiving support and recognition for my work is amazing and makes this so much better and sales are just an extra.  
This whole collection is my way to tell you a story and somehow educate young and new artists joining this space, this will look easy but it never will be, don"t quit jobs just because you made some consistent sales or got high bids, in this space everything can be and will be temporary unless you educate yourself to became better and have an active and brilliant mind, be yourself, be honest and take risks but with all that make sure you have your thoughts for the long term, but what I"m I saying here I"m nobody...

I"m Sorry, I"m Trying

Have been discovering new emotions, and new skills that I never thought I would, this whole path is new for me and that"s why Im still making art, I cant just turn my back on the thing that I love the most, The only thing that keeps me sane and alive.  
But thinking about this every day and seeing that I have no job and have been trying to find one forever and nothing is working out, makes me feel that I"m just losing everything, but while making art knowing that someone will relate with it makes me so happy. Still, unfortunately for now art cant be my road, cause nothing seems to work...  
Every time I think I"m betting mentally better things get worst somehow in a different way, nothing will be easy but to be honest I"m glad, imagine what would happen if everything was easy, will not have anything to fight for, we all would be wealthy, happy and nothing to dream for.  
Just remember to be happy and glad for everything you have, we all complain about our things but if you realize theres someone worst than us, this makes me feel so selfish, thinking only about how bad things are for me when there are people homeless, hungry and thirsty, theres nothing worst than that, so that"s why for now on I will start helping people and the world somehow, everything will be determined and discussed with Emancipation community just hope to have you around to help and support us <3

Nowhere to run

Don"t matter if you are strong or successful in one way or another there will always be something pushing you down and that will happen more often than you think, there will be just days that you rather ignore those demons and others that all you can see is that side of the limbo. I"m just looking for a star, not to be completed just to bring some light inside me, because I don"t wanna love myself, just praying that y"all love me, for my art, personality anything that could be seen as a good thing...  
But that constant fight and trying to achieve those kinds of feelings are just useless because you will always need to love yourself first in order to be possible seeing the good side of things otherwise you will always be worth shit.  
I"m sorry for failing all these years, for being offline on social media, for not being the person I promise to, guess that if everything would be easy will never be funny at least to try. This time I"m not promising anything I will just ask for you guys to have some faith in me because I will never quit art or this path I put myself into, all I need is time and some faith because will always do my best or die trying...

I Don"t Wanna Do This Anymore

It"s been 242 days since this journey started, the collection that connected me in ways that I never thought with this community, but its been also 242 days that all I wish was never met this side of me, a broken, sad, and disgusting side... I have learned a lot about you and from you, making me able to mold myself into a better person, ready to fight and always keep it up even when life"s pushing me down. It just disgusted me seeing you growing back into me trying to have your spot again but I won"t allow it, I will use art as many times I need to keep myself saint and alive, so takes this as the last letter you will be reading, I have been weak my whole life and now it"s not the time, it"s not what I want and I"m just feeling tired of you keeping pushing me down when all I want is to succeed and shine, so fuck you, for even trying, for being awake with me in the long nights and for doing such damage into me when I was so young, I was messed up and always had to take with everything by myself but honestly that"s something I or anybody else deserves. Now accept this as a goodbye because from now on there will be two different paths.  
Now for everyone reading this please stay strong everything will be fine as long as your mind stays on the right side, Thank you all for being this supportive and for making me seeing light even when I was creating in the dark, this has grown and that"s all because of you so I"m eternally grateful!

I Wish We Never Met

Took 242 days for you to realize your value with this collection but I was always with you for nearly 17 years I know that I never made you feel right or in the right place but It was me who made who you are today, I made you stronger and I know I... Made you feel fucked up too many times, made mistakes but I was so young how could I know what was the best? Was discovering things in the same way and time you were, everything was so new but that genuinely doesn"t matter to you because all you see is that I damaged you, and that"s ok in some way you"re right, broke your heart too many times for now wanting you to understand that all I made was probably for your benefit, made you cry nights over and over for things that now actually don"t matter... But let me tell you one thing, all that made you stay home, develop skills that you probs would never get without me, you started making art, you made friends and you improved so much that brought you here...and I know that doesn"t compensate anything I made you feel, every time you wanted to hurt yourself or even when all you wanted was to give up but... was never my intention to make you feel that way, all I wanted was to make you stronger for what is coming...because after all when you wanted to give up I never let that happen I always made you stick with me, I"m just glad that you doing better without me.  
This will be the last letter from me since you decided to leave but I hope you know that I"m proud of you and you should keep trusting yourself more, wherever you go I will always follow you, detached from you by choice but present somehow...

How Could You Leave

I"ve seen you despite the sadness and let her out of you, I"ve seen you cry all night because your heart was broken, but why haven"t you seen me growing inside you, ready as never to explode and let all these negative emotions go away, why didn"t you let me react in some situations that I KNOW, I would have made a difference? 
We will never know, and that just makes me angrier, it isn"t for you is just because I couldn"t help in those times you needed and now look at you, damaged, confused without knowing what the direction where things are moving.. and I"m sorry, I should have done something but I guess I wasn"t strong as I am now! But now I know that I found my home and I"m fine with it... because it isn"t late at all is always early for a change, and I know that you will make me proud. Nobody told you this before and you haven"t been supported as you deserved, even by your parent but everything they said was just because they don"t understand this art thing you have been doing and all they want is that you become successful so you can have a better life. 
Nothing was meant to be easy, but I have been on the outside like I was in and I felt everything you did, and I know it isn"t easy, nothing was, but you made it alone, it was hard but you did and that says a lot. Now all I ask is for you to keep your head up and keep creating because this is all that keeps your head clean and saint, for more than I want to help you I"m afraid of myself, I have been held inside of you for so long that I don"t know the damage I could make...

I Waited On You

There are times when emotions are the worst but to be fair I can"t let things go so easy as that, I can"t ignore my sadness, my rage, or anything else, all that has built the person I am and that"s everything I have, my emotions were the only ones that didn"t leave me behind that betrayed me(in some way), they were always there to help me find the best way to react in any situation, so now its time to stop fighting against them and finally embrace every single one of them. Who could tell how far I would have come... I don"t know, actually, even I doubted everything that I had achieved to this day, everything seems unreal. So pay attention to what youre doing because life is right in front of our faces...I always thought that when I was down life was unfair to me but actually, it"s because it is supposed you be like that, the people that struggle are the ones that succeed in the end because hard work will always pay off. You will not live in struggle forever, everything somehow will come to you, so stop fighting your emotions, stop holding your tears...Believe me, are things hard to forget but I have held tears inside me and now I"m damaged, drowned on the inside but is never too late, embrace your hardest demons and get better. At 15 years old I started art to hide and fight all my nightmares using art as an excuse to hide at home, it was bad but like I said before It was meant to be that way and the proof is to look at me now, I"ve grown as an artist, as a person I got stronger... Nothing last forever <3

I Would Die For You

I"m scared, at this point is clear that I don"t know or trust myself, I"m still finding all my emotions and trying to make peace with them but so far had already given up twice, and had hurt so many people through a process that should be mine and that"s not fair for anyone, I"m tired of hurting people when I"m the only one messed up... This shouldn"t be happening not to me, not to the ones around me, the journey has just started and I"m honestly afraid of my future, afraid to be no one or not being able to accomplish what I most want to and become a failure doing something that I don"t appreciate making another weight on my shoulders that could possibly make me give up and leave everything behind. In every single year, I"m drowning in my tears again, I can"t seem to forget everything that I"m afraid of, and that makes me so weak, how am I supposed to find my emotions and accept them all when only one of them have such impact on me? 
Fear is haunting me in ways that most people won"t understand and that bothers me because I"m sure that I"m not alone on these thoughts and someone out there is facing the same or worst than me and people don"t understand that in a way to help them, and this is one of the most motives I have to create and share my feelings so if any of these people see or read that, know that they"re not alone.  
I don"t know for how long I will be here or making art but hope you know that all my pain and thoughts are here transformed into art <3

Love Me Not

You can fucking hate me but I will always love you, even if you are past you were part of me and I can"t let that go and for how strong your memories are to me I will not break or get defeated by you... You were responsible for most of the things that I regret or hate about me, but somehow you made me who I"m today, which should count for something. I will not thank you but I"m not letting you behind like I said before, doing that would be like deleting part of my knowledge and life experience, sometimes I feel that I"m losing myself but is by looking behind and seeing for how long I have been fighting that makes me stronger and able to keep going because after all I made and suffered so much for nothing? Can"t let things push me back, others" success shouldn"t be a thing to discourage me, but it"s hard to focus when I"m doing my best and nothing good happens to me when others do the same or less and get their pump... Why does this happen to me? Why can"t I just focus on my ride and be grateful for everything that has been happening to me? So much great stuff has blessed me but I still want more, everything feels like isn"t enough and If I would die today I"m not satisfied because there"s something missing something is missing and I don"t know what is it, every day that goes it feels like I didn"t have enough time for my own things and that I should do more, I hate me for feeling like this and somehow you were responsible for all this, you messed me up and now there"s nothing you can do about it but that doesn"t mean that is the right thing to leave you... I just don"t wanna do this anymore I"m tired of faking that I"m doing great when inside I"m shattered

Hate Me!

I remember walking home that day with everything in my head, telling myself that was only a phase and that everything would get better, even not knowing what was waiting for me next.  
There were people looking and putting the fault on me like I wanted to feel this way, so I took a different path but in the distance, I was always there, my presence never left that space, and it will be always hard to forget everything, how things just crushed into me and after that, waking up never was so hard, like if death was before my eyes, and most of that times probably all I needed was a shoulder to cry on but never had that chance, could ask for help to my family or friends but I never was the type to call for attention for how much I could need it I would never ask for anything I would be just waiting for someone to notice, and I should have good to disguise it because nobody ever had a single clue about it, all this pain was getting bigger inside me and I never asked for help... years passed and tears kept falling. After all this time there"s no way back, I just lost myself, so the question comes finally up, will I leave it behind and move up, or will I keep reliving these moments? Its been 5 Years and the pain in my heart just didn"t fade away, and finding out that a psychological exam actually gives you depression results just makes my thoughts stronger and my heart weaker, seems this is the end and now I must seek the end to finally begin, because after all maybe If I had seeked the help I needed nothing would be like this maybe I wouldn"t feel worthless...

I"m Sorry I Couldn"t Save You

This whole time the path I crossed was never easy but when did I lose myself? I feel that my feelings are somewhere else like they left me all by myself making me live things alone and making me feel dead inside. It"s so hard to deal with all these things and never knowing what is going on, so now I ask you for you to take care of yourself, of your mental health, I didn"t take it seriously and now I"m lost. Please don"t do the same errors I did in the past, if you have a chance to become better by seeing others" warnings please do, don"t do the same mistakes close to the people you did. Because if you let things drag you down making you feel lost inside yourself, you will be scared of life and every single year you will feel exhausted of your own body. No matter if you don"t feel anything sooner or later those feelings will catch up to you and make you feel like the most horrible person on the planet so don"t let them judge you build a wall around you, not to close yourself in just to make you stronger and protect yourself from your own thoughts if there are people willing to help you, please accept that help, most of the people that offer you help already suffered like u doing right now and know exactly how u feel, they just don"t have the right words to said it to you.  
It"s been almost every day that I"m realizing that Emancipation is becoming a collection of nightmares and thoughts based on my real-life situations. I decided to call it Emancipation because all I wanted was to become better, by reading all the stories of my artworks you will be joining my mind and being able to understand everything that I am or I was going through, this is the space for you to share your story for you to feel comfortable a place where acceptance is more valuable more than money, if you ever feel like it, hope you know that all my dms are open, I don"t expect being able to help you all but if you are looking just for someone to talk and let things easier on yourself never think twice to contact me! Don"t let things put you down as they did to me, world deserves better, YOU deserve better.

I No Longer Have Feelings

If I"m gonna die, I want at least to make a difference in the world and somehow affect some other people to make better choices so they could be happy as I never was... I can"t understand where appeared all this pain, why people need to suffer so much, this isn"t fair...  
There are so many good people out there suffering from all types of things and I still can"t understand why does this need to happen? The world and nature of life are something I will never understand, all I want is to hug all of you that are struggling and just sit and talk for all the hours that could be needed to try to help you as much as I can, tell you that everything will be ok, all u need is to focus on yourself, things will get better eventually just don"t let this mean things drag you down because down there is a place you don"t want to be, I was part of it somehow and please don"t go for it, isn"t worthy of you!  
I don"t want my art to be weird just to be relatable making people feel things that are hidden inside. Feelings that you never got the chance to discover, being able for you to look at my creations and realize this is time for you to take care of yourself and the ones around you, especially during this depreciation and bear market that not only puts currencies down but also mental health from artists and other individuals.  
We don"t have to be strong all the time, from time to time we all will feel sad, frustrated, angry, and mad, probably like most of all people I cry because I"m feeling overwhelmed with life...

When There"s Nothing Left

There"s a time when you don"t even know who are you, you lost... Your emotions are messed up, you just don"t know how to feel about things, and that"s ok, stop being so hard on yourself, nobody is happy all the time, and nobody is perfect, we all had times when we felt down, or that we made a mistake and we made things horrible, but that"s all part of the journey, the important lesson to take from those mistakes is to do better, we all have right to have worst moments in our lives, the only important thing is that we see those things as ways to get ready for the future, nothing that happens is for nothing, everything has a meaning you just don"t know yet. So stop being so hard on yourself, if anything did wrong don"t worry u will get it right next time, stop being so negative about everything around you and see how much you achieved so far!! That"s the most important thing to look for... We artists constantly punish ourselves for not being able to create or not be active on social media but sometimes we just need a break from all that, and at first, it could seem wrong but after you do it, you will see that was just a way to make u be possible to look the big picture and create even better things, everything has a process so just trust at it!! Don"t be too hard on yourself, life is too short for that and I don"t want u to waste it on things that shouldn"t bother you<3.

Who Are You Now?

There"s times I fell alone, left behind and I fucking hate it, because it doesn"t necessarily mean that is true, but it makes me feel bad, It makes me stress so much, overthink all my actions... But sometimes people are just minding their own business and doing their work and me having a lot of free time makes me missing people, friends most of all, that"s why art is essential for me because I can draw my feelings without people asking any questions, I can be myself and show my reality without being judged. There"re people truly important to us that nothing could describe or tell them why and most of those people you don"t even talk to that frequently you simply have a big love for them... Art makes me able to be someone else, without fear, being able to describe my feelings on a canvas is everything to me, and I realize that others have the same thoughts and all I want is to show artists and collectors that they can use the art for their own good, you just need to give it a try and feel every bit of emotion that goes through your veins!

I"m not the best person far from perfect but all I want is to make a change

There"s Times I feel Alone

The whole point of Human Life is evolution, be it physically or mentally. There"s no easy steps, everything is and will always be new to us, all the steps you do in your life will be new and hard to adapt, but that"s what life"s about. Everything around us was created, we were created, our home was created, nature was created, so everything I vision myself is keep creating or help create something in somehow... At some point we are all artists, we already created something at any time of our life. It is ok to be scared of new things, even if you created those new situations, being afraid is good, it means you care enough to feel that way, is part of us feeling fear, and that"s good because it"s a mechanic that we develop to protect ourselves, but even with it, we should always take a risk, cause everything that takes away the power of your mind is keeping you trapped on our own mind and delaying our way to the success. Take time to learn about yourself, about your mind, to know how to feel in determined situations, take full control of yourself, don"t let your mind control you, because it will slowly kill you without you notice, understand that you can alter your emotions by the power of thoughts, the minute you slow down you will be able to leave all the bad influences behind.  
You will always be enslaved if you can"t control your mind, as soon as you get the world attention everything will turn against you... But if have the chance to control it, You"ll find that ins"t more than just a though.  
You only live once, but you can die plenty of times during life... that"s the main reason why having a good mindset is important, dying mentally can hurt more than your physical one... Don"t let it happen, just promise me that, don"t say you don"t care because you so much worth it

The Way Life Goes

The Journey started a long time ago, and I can"t lie that I didn"t have great times but till I had that peace inside me I had to suffer things that I want to prevent any of you to deal with... I have so many secrets buried inside me, some of them because of people that in the start looked so innocent and in the end, they were just here to hurt me one more time making me believe that I was the mistake. It feels like I can"t breathe and I"m trapped inside my own body... Constantly walking among my biggest fears and worst feelings and I don"t want anybody to deal with anything related to it because it"s not fair that some can have joy and happiness in their lives while others are constantly being hurt, but most of the good emotions are just a camouflage for the sadness and anger because at the end we are all condemned to it...  
Sometimes we need a hard phase to make us react in the best way possible, however, suffering isn"t something that people should have during their period of life because it goes so fast and people tend to use the worst emotions to build and keep their life, and none of them are strong enough to deal with all that... People say that god only gives people what they can"t truly handle but why are people starving, why there"s terrorism, why there"s depression and diseases?? People can"t handle all that without suffering so at this point I no longer cant believe in anything besides myself

Walked Through Hell

We all had those moments, where we don"t know if we doing the right thing or even at the right place, we just going after our emotions but even those are weak. We all have the right to feel insecure, we are humans after all, we care about our future and that"s something really powerful into our live"s. So never let anyone tell you that you shouldn"t feel like that, because it"s more than normal.. Do as you feel, life is so short to be scared, so short to be doubting ourselves, life every day like it was your last, do your best, show the best out of you, be the person you want to be because at the end people will remind you for it... I could be away for sometimes, but most of that time I"m taking care of my mental health or working, unfortunately can"t make art my first priority but will always be one in my life, art made me realise so many things about me, it made me be a better person and I can"t leave it behind because now its part of myself and I need it..  
Be the best version of yourself, life goes so fast you don"t wanna waste it.