Deathwish 365

People seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older... They're cramming for their final exam.

DW365-041

Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.

The dead know only one thing. It is better to be alive.

Death is never an end, but a "to be continued..."

Don't think of it as dying, just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who went peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.

I'm one of those people who believes that if I'm very good in this life I'll go to France when I die.

Dying is easy. It"s living that scares me to death.

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn"t get worse every time Congress meets.

Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful if it happens in that order.

I"m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that I"m listening to it.

Death is nature"s way of saying, your table is ready.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Thinking and talking about death need not be morbid. They may be quite the opposite.